Happy Holidays!!! November 30, 2009

Happy Holidays to all! We wish for many blessings to come during this joyous time of year.
-Serenity & Cinque

CRAZY EMOTIONS….. November 13, 2009

Flashback….

Yesterday, I had to hold back tears TWICE! Why am I so emotional right now? I know its getting a lot closer to the birth day, especially with that scare the other night. I was actually praying for more time to get ready. I know that these next days are crucial. Bedrest, the PUPPPs (pregnancy rash), swollen legs and ankles, and sore bones have put a big damper on things. I feel confined and imprisoned to my bed. Even though, there are some good episodes on television, I miss being outside in the fresh air. And, I want a Manhattan Bagel breakfast sandwich so bad! But, I have to watch my sodium intake. Urgh!

It does get lonely at times as well. I understand that everyone around me has a life that they must uptain. But, I do get jealous when I hear about trips to Dorney Park, Great Adventures or even to the shore. I really miss going down to the casinos with my boo. I was getting poker downpacked. I might even try getting into the WSOP tour next year.

I’m watching the doubles match with the Williams sister and I’m even getting jealous watching them. I miss my body and moving around. No basketball. No running. No weightlifting. Things I could’ve been doing if this was a singleton pregnancy. But, because this is a high-risk pregnancy with twins, I have a limit to movement. However, the big man upstairs knew what he was doing, because I am getting these tubes tied after their birth.

I hear from a lot of women that they love being pregnant. That is not the case for me. I might sound selfish in my decision not to have anymore kids but this pregnancy was torture. I do not regret this pregnancy because it just might get me prepared for the tough tasks I will be going through after birth. But I am happy and satisfied with my two little ones.

DADDY DUTY…. November 13, 2009

Last night was magical! My man took over baby duty and told me to get some rest. I rushed into the shower, washed up, lotioned up, and went off into a deep sleep for two hours. All I could say when I awakened was “aaaaahhhh”. Rejuvenation!

After I awakened from my lovely nap, he told me that he fed them at 9pm, cleaned the kitchen, vacuumed the floors all whil entertaining them for a couple more hours. We did the next feedings together and he put them to sleep. They actually slept almost 5 hours straight throughout the night! Great!!!! Even more rest, especially for Daddy. He hasn’t really rested since they were born. Crazy right?! I guess he felt that the pressure is on since reality hit that they were really here.

Here’s to my babies daddy….

P.S. Looking forward to many more nights like those.

BAD Mommie! November 13, 2009

Oh my goodness! I was so nervous when the nurse showed me my son’s circumcision and what I had to do to care for it. His wee wee looked so painful. A week later, he gets a diaper rash and thrush. And of course, she gets it too. What did I do wrong? I do change them when they need to be. I don’t let them sit in it too long. Shoot! I wouldn’t want to be sitting in poop and pee.

I was hesitant to call the doctor because I just spoke to her a few days ago for Serenity about her navel. It was bleeding at the site. It was a relief to know that it was normal. So, I called the doctor again and she gave me presciptions for both. I rushed to CVS to fill them and quickly attended to my little munchkins. I was told that Aquaphor works wonders so we’ve been using that in between meds.

Its been a couple days and it seems to be healing. His diaper rash was my biggest concern since he was already raw from the circumcision. I was so scared that I was doing something wrong. But I was doing everything they told me. I feel like a baby encyclopedia from all the books and magazines I read. I guess I need to step back, take a deep breath, and let nature take its course. It is in God’s hands after all. I’m sure He won’t steer me wrong.

I know there will be more moments when I will feel like a bad mommie. But as long as I know that I’m giving 110% and more then I’m doing good. Are there times when you feel like a Bad Mommie or Daddie?

WALKING ZOMBIES November 11, 2009

We are in week 3 of caring for our newborn twins. Of course week 1 was a piece of cake with the help of the nurses and techs taking the babies at night to allow me recovery sleep. For some reason, I would still wake up around 4am and ask for my babies. I felt like a kid on Christmas morning.

Being at home is a little different. There are no breaks. Even when family comes over to give us a break, I just can’t get that rest. Like right now, they are sleeping and I am draining energy writing this on my blog. I never knew that I could be this exhausted. I’ve pulled all-nighters for college exams, worked 80 hour weeks, and even had vigorious training causing extreme soreness. But none of that compares to a portion of how I feel now and felt these past few weeks.

We have the twins on a 2-3 hour block during day/evening. However we are still working on the night. If I don’t nap sometime during the day, then its “closed curtains” for me throughout the night. Some nights they are on the same schedule and we knock it out at the same time. With this, we are able to get at least 4 hours of sleep. But, other nights, they are all out of whack. It feels like I never closed my eyes.

Now, I am praying for better nights. I don’t want to rush their growth but I can’t wait until they can sleep through the night. Right now, I just breathe, take a step back, and get to work. They need me and I am here for them.

Emotional Wreck November 11, 2009

Before we were discharged from the hospital, the nurse gave me a PPD survey. After reading the questions, I was stumped because I did feel sad, scared, anxious, nervous, and etc. I was an emotional wreck and I still feel that way at the moment. But I don’t want to do harm to myself nor my babies. They actually make me feel happy. Its just everything else that has me all whind up. I told the nurse and techs to understand what I went through and keep that in mind when going through my survey.

The biggest thing was my birth story (I will tell you about it soon). To sum it all up, it was horrible. I am so happy that I have my boy and girl because I don’t think I could experience that again. I’m sure it would be different the next time but the first experience just took my heart. Now, every time someone asks me, “So, how was it (the births)?”, I cring and stumble out words like “It was interesting.” Or “…an experience not to be remembered.” I would try to explain it to my family but I’ll just cry hysterically remembering each and every detail, movement and motion. The only good thing in my birth story was that the twins were healthy, beautiful and a great size.

PRESENTING LIFE’S BLESSINGS November 8, 2009

Yes! Finally, they are here. And they are more beautiful than I invisioned. It was a wild ride through the whole pregnancy, labor and delivery. But in the end, it was well worth it.

I would like to introduce Serenity Jade born October 25th at 5:06pm weighing in at 7lbs and 0.9oz, 20in long. Her twin brother, Cinque (sin-q) John born at 6:29pm weighing in at 7lbs and 4.7oz, 19in long.

POWER OUTAGE October 23, 2009

Today, we are at 38 long weeks and 6 painful days. I’m at the doctor’s office waiting to see what the plan is going to be and if I had made any progression since last week. Within the 15 minutes of waiting, there was a building-wide power outage. Lights out!

I was hoping that it would be fixed soon because I didn’t want to wait until next week to see my doctor. That would have been torture! Patiently waiting, the lights came back on within the next 15 minutes. And they called me to the back.

First things first, the scale…. I am weighing in at 207.7lbs. Urghhhhhh! I feel every bit of this 200+lbs. After my usual assessment, my doctor came in and took one look at me and said “Come in tonight for you induction.” I was estatic and gave her a high five. Finally, the time has come. I know that statistically being induced can lead to a lengthy labor but I am just sooooo ready. I am ready for the horrific pain, heavy breathing, and what ever else comes my way. I rather go thru the labor pain now in one or two days than for another week or two.

I AM READY. I just hope they will be too.

38 WEEKS and 5 days! October 22, 2009

Well, sorry still no babies. I should have went on a little vacation. I was hesistant because I thought they would be a little early. Turns out, the jokes on me.

Yesterday, I washed 8 loads, cleaned my bedroom, organized the babies drawers, and made a 5 star dinner the night before. Also, I have been exercising for 15-30 mins each day. Pilates, yoga, cardio, walking, etc. So I am exerting a great amount of energy. I am trying to prepare my body for the labor and delivery. Plus, I’m trying to get these two babies out of my belly. Any more suggestions???

NOT READY! October 19, 2009

Last night, we went in the hospital waiting to get the news if we would have an official birth date that night. After all the test and examinations, my doctors discussed amongst themselves and came to the final conclusion of sending me home yet again. Because I really want a natural vaginal birth, they rather let mother nature take its course and wait. I’m still ranging at 3 cm since my 34th week and still no water breakage. Yes, contractions are regular and strong at times. But the babies are just not budging. This is exhaustingly crazy!!!

I dread the evenings to come with more lack of sleep, painful dragging bathroom breaks, and more contractions. They say make sure you walk. I do. Try having sex. We do. I even stretch and tried pilates. Painful but I did it all. I guess I need to realize my own foe….patience. I need to be patient and wait it out. It wouldn’t be good to rush things. With induction, the chances of a c-section is much higher. And we all know that I do not want a c-section.

So just pray that I have patience and a when the time comes…a great and speedy delivery.