Almost two months ago, the twins graduated to the big kids room from the nursery.  They get to roam around a huge room with other 18mon-3 yr olds.  Let me tell you that I was so nervous to send them out there.  It was like sending my cubs out to the wilderness.  Survival of the fittest.  Plus, there was a NO BINKY ALLOWED policy.  I just knew I was in for a ride.  After a few days in the wilderness and the mini tantrums, they actually got around fine.  They were learning new things and using their motor skills.

But I still held on to those binkies.  I thought what about the ride home in traffic, what about those irritable moments in the store, what about bedtime??? So I continued to cater to their weaknesses…my weaknesses.  Of course, my father tried to intervene every time he sees them with a binky. “No binkies in this house.”  But as soon as we get in the car, I popped them right in their mouths.  I work 8-4 throughout the week and by time each day is over, I easily put in about 10-12 hours of sweat and energy.  I feel like why should I feel aggravated on the ride home, in the stores, throughout the night.  These should be moments of peace and tranquility.  And that’s how I feel when they have those binkies. I kow its selfish.

But only last night did I realize that it was me who caused each and every tear coming out of my son’s eyes.  Because I have made him dependent on soemthing that is not suppose to last.  So his father says, no don’t give it to him, let him cry it out.  Man, I wanted to just say WHAT?! I don’t want him to suffer.  My son wakes up to realize someone stole his binky. Then 20 minutes past by and I started thinking.  Was I really that selfish?

So now its time for mommy to be strong and let go.  No more binkies.  Pray for me, please.

This winter season hasn’t been to cool for the little ones. We’ve been in and out the doctor’s office and hospital due to colds, croup, pneumonia and stomache bugs. Lysol, nasal aspirators and Vicks Vapor rub is my bestfriend! It has been so frustrating to know that your baby is suffering and you can’t fix the problem faster. Their pediatrician said, “a recent study has shown that children, especially those in day care develop colds at least 6-9 times per year, usually between November and May.” If this study is true, then this means children are sick for the ENTIRE winter and most of spring! Doesn’t sound too exciting. So, my goal is to prevent just this. I must find more efficient ways to strengthen my children’s immune system and keep them from getting ill. Who wants to be sick all the time? Who wants to be sick at all?

Healthy diet, clean environment, and active lifestyle….

This past week I have really  been doing some life changes.  I now say, “Oh, well.”  The house is a mess…Oh, well.  The clothes are piling up in the laundry room…Oh, well.  The babies fell asleep with their day clothes on…Oh, well.  I didn’t cook dinner…Oh, well.  Shoot! I am tired. Physically tired. Running after two crawling, adventurous babies is a LOT of WORK!!! Then trying to do my daily house chores (cooking, cleaning, laundry, checking the mail…), please , the day just flies on by and it seems like I never accomplish everything. 

Everytime I turn around, there is laundry to be done, things needed from the grocery, a bottle to be made, food to be prepped, a diaper to be changed, someone to be fed…..and the list goes on and on and on.  Where do I find time for me? Starting now, some things on that list does not get done in order for me to focus on ME.  Oh but my children do get fed and I try to eat at least twice with some snacking in  between.  But to some it all up.

I am going to make time for me!

Could You Push Me?

It has been only 5 days since his daughter came for her summer stay.  It feels like it has been months.  I’m sure you know that children can be difficult at times.  Well, how about children that are not yours.  How can you discipline them when they do wrong (especially when they know that they did wrong but did it any way to test you)? I know even if I were to scold her as if she were my own child, it’s still boundaries.  Some parents discipline their child in different ways and some ways we all may not agree with. 

At this moment, I am just using my old camp counselor discipline tactics when she does something wrong.  But it has only been five days and I already feel like the drill sergeant.  Why must we repeat ourselves a million times for them to answer and do what we ask? I have two little ones that take a lot of my energy and housework that takes up the remainder of my energy.  Therefore, the task of mothering another child that makes me repeat myself many times just beats me up.  It sounds harsh but that’s how I’m feeling. Real talk.

I just want to have a healthy relationship with all of our children, his included.

First stop is the gym for a morning burst of energy and some major toning.  Then, I head to the nail salon for the works.  My sisters and I meet up for lunch at Bahama Breeze.  I take a minute to breathe this all in.  A day to myself. No questions asked, no strings attached, no calling to say “I need to do this or that.”  Wow!

After I enjoy the glorious day to myself, I head back home wondering how the house is going to look after a whole day with the kids.  And to my surprise it looks the same as it did when I left this morning.  The kids were just fed and put to bed.  Their dad greets me with a smile right before he lays a wet one on me.  He tells me to follow him into the dining room where he prepared a full course dinner.  We talk about our day as we sip some wine.  We carry our convo in the living room while he gives me a to-die-for massage.  I tell him how I am some thankful for this day.  And off to bed we go….

If only it wasn’t a dream…..

Just Swingin' Away

Yesterday seemed very versatile.  It started out with cleaning up the house.  Of course, there was loads of laundry. Laundry, laundry, laundry!!!! It’s a never ending task with that.  We went to my favorite place…Super Walmart.  Yes, it cuts out multi-store shopping.  Every item on my list is all there.  We dropped off the older brother to football camp.  Dad went out to do some errands while it was just me, the twins and their older sister.  I was able to get her to watch television so that the twins can rest peacefully for an hour..  Of course, I had to reiterate why I want her to allow them to rest in their crib and not crowd them with hugs and kisses.  lol.  It’s a working progress. Little Missy grabs 10 slices of lunch meat with the intention of eating it all.  Um yea right.  9 of those slices went in the trash after sitting out on her bedspread.

Wee!

Kids do the weirdest things.  The hour of restful peace for the twins may have lasted 20 minutes with the constant interruption of their sister. Yes I gave in.

Later in the evening, we walked to the park for some fresh air and new scenery.  Their sister, Little Miss, made a few friends which was very nice to see her interact with other children her age.  We put the twins in the swings and they LOVED IT!  Smiles and laughter.  I got some great shots for the scrapbook.

Guess what! I was able to have an adult night out.  I went to join some co-workers for some drinks and appetizers.  It was a lot of fun hanging out with them.

“I wanna love you, and kiss you, and squeeze you.”

Up & Ready To Start The Day

The day starts with the laughter and chatter from Q standing and thumping his hands on the crib rail {I believe its to get our attention}.  I try to keep my eyes closed to get that extra five minutes of dream sleep but it often fails by the hunger whines from one of the two.  Already knowing that I am the more energetic one in the early morning, I jump up to start the daily tasks.  I make the morning bottles while I check to see if their is any laundry that needs to be done.  Then, I set up a pad for the twins in the living room.  After I set them up in the living room and give them their bottles, I go get washed up myself.  Every morning, I turn on the television for some white noise.  I keep it locked on WHYY tv, an educational learning channel.  I know some experts say that its not good for babies to be put in front of the television for their first year of life.  But, since I do not have the “My Baby Can Read” material, I feel like many of the programs on WHYY are very beneficial in their learning.  Yes, I do make time here and there to read something to them.  Usual it would be my daily devotional passages that I would read aloud.  Lately, they have been going back to sleep within two hours of being awake.  Depending on how my week has been, I would take a nap with them or try to work on a project.  Next thing you know its LUNCHTIME.  Have I eaten yet?  I have been drinking protein shakes as soon as I get up because I know I may not make time to eat breakfast.  It usually gets me thru the morning without being hungry.  Time to make those bottles again.  I add some cereal and baby food in a bowl to feed them as well.  It’s so funny because she will try to take the spoon from him and he will try to do the same. 

Playtime

PLAYTIME.  I spend some time playing with the babies and  teaching them how to use their toys.  Next thing you know their older brother is home from school.  That is my cue to start prepping dinner.  If they’re in a playful mood, I put them in their stationary activity toy and walker while I do a little straightening up.  When dinner is done, I start their bath and make them another bottle.  If they are fussy, I would feed one while I bathe the other.  Q is like clock work, he gets fussy around 6:30pm – 7:30pm. So usually after his bath, he goes right to counting sheep.  Ce is always the quiet one.  I can do things around the house and she would be in her own little world playing with one of her toys.  She also focuses on the television programs more.  It’s a beautiful thing.  I get to eat my dinner in peace and watch a game, or a couple episodes before bedtime.  I put them in their crib.  Get in the shower.  And off to bed. 

It feels like feathers to him.

But is it so hard to want to be healthy? Wouldn’t you want to be able to play with your children without falling out in the first 5 minutes?  Wouldn’t you want to feel energetic when you have to complete your daily to-do lists?  Wouldn’t you want to eat something and not feel guilty about eating it after you scarfed it down?  Wouldn’t you want to feel beautiful in your own skin?  Why is it that we think in order to achieve this, you must be wearing single digits?  Guess what? You don’t!  From running track for many years, I have come across great athlete that were different sizes. 

When I am feeling down, yes, I do go for the sweets! But most of the times, I would put on my headphones and go for a run, walk or even a drive.  I just need air and space.  Usually, when I complete my run, walk, or drive, I am exhausted and the sweets that I wanted don’t look so tasty.  What is your vice, and how do you handle tough times?